In less than a month we celebrate 30 years of marriage. I believe it is so important to celebrate, to reflect and to be grateful. We have been through more rough patches that I want to think about. But in the crucible we have learnt and grown. I am now able to embrace the challenges of living with chalk while I am cheese. We have learnt to listen and understand rather than react and defend. We have learnt it is important to take time out for two. We have learnt to date after many years of excuses. A powerful tool we have also acted on is searching for gold; we see the best in each other and bless each other with words that reveal that.
We love adventure and travelling to exotic places, this year with borders closed that is difficult. We will find the fun closer to home. Please share here your best tips for a happy relationship.
30 years ago. How time flies!
So we like adventure, paragliding was definitely a rush. Enjoyed the heli to the snow as well. Will let you know what we get up to in a couple of weeks for our anniversary.
Loving all of yourself can be challenging. You might be able to say I love this about me but not that. You might say I will love me when I achieve this.
I’m going to ask you to try something. Love yourself unconditionally now, wholeheartedly. Those bits you don’t want to love, love them anyway. Smile and say some awe inspiring words to yourself. Bless yourself with positive words like ‘ I’m beautiful inside and and out. I’ve been designed just right. I love who I am. I’m worth more than I could ever imagine.’
Have you ever noticed little children. They know the world revolves around them. They are fearless. They think they can do anything. They are beautiful. They don’t check themselves in the mirror to see the faults, they see themselves and they just light up, you know they love themselves.
The most important tip be 100% committed to the dating process.
Set aside a time to date. Put it in your diary or calendar. This time is inviolable. Nothing takes precedence over this time. Only by agreement does the date move. Better to move the date than cancel.
Do your research. Great idea is to have a brainstorm together. Get a whiteboard or online planner. Write all date ideas down. A great resource.
Small things count. Holding hands. Stopping to hug. Being curious about your partner. Ask caring questions. Download the App, Gottman Card Decks. These are great conversation catalysts. https://www.gottman.com/couples/apps/
Keep it light, have fun and smile a lot.
Be positive and encourage each other with what you love and like about each other.
If something tense happens, look after it quickly or choose to let it go until a better time to discuss.
Its OK to repeat a date if you enjoyed it the first time.
So I’ve finally set aside time to date my partner. We have been married for 29 years. We kept making excuses for not being consistent in our dating. We would get a couple of dates in and then forget. Now we have both committed to the time and the research to go on regular dates. My wonderful partner is really into grand gestures which takes lots of creativity and work. Very easy to burn out when so much is put into the process.
My advice is to keep the dates simple. A walk can be turned into a date just by holding hands. talking or reminiscing about your relationship. A coffee date can be enhanced by looking into each other eyes and smiling.
This weekend our date was a visit to the local swimming pool. They have a spa pool. We also paid to use the sauna and steam room. A lazy lunch afterwards is a perfect way to finish a lovely time together.