Make your love note a little sexy by putting a lipstick kiss on it. leave it on his pillow.
Loving all of yourself can be challenging. You might be able to say I love this about me but not that. You might say I will love me when I achieve this.
I’m going to ask you to try something. Love yourself unconditionally now, wholeheartedly. Those bits you don’t want to love, love them anyway. Smile and say some awe inspiring words to yourself. Bless yourself with positive words like ‘ I’m beautiful inside and and out. I’ve been designed just right. I love who I am. I’m worth more than I could ever imagine.’
Have you ever noticed little children. They know the world revolves around them. They are fearless. They think they can do anything. They are beautiful. They don’t check themselves in the mirror to see the faults, they see themselves and they just light up, you know they love themselves.
Start everyday by being thankful for who you are.
The most important tip be 100% committed to the dating process.
- Set aside a time to date. Put it in your diary or calendar. This time is inviolable. Nothing takes precedence over this time. Only by agreement does the date move. Better to move the date than cancel.
- Do your research. Great idea is to have a brainstorm together. Get a whiteboard or online planner. Write all date ideas down. A great resource.
- Small things count. Holding hands. Stopping to hug. Being curious about your partner. Ask caring questions. Download the App, Gottman Card Decks. These are great conversation catalysts. https://www.gottman.com/couples/apps/
- Keep it light, have fun and smile a lot.
- Be positive and encourage each other with what you love and like about each other.
- If something tense happens, look after it quickly or choose to let it go until a better time to discuss.
- Its OK to repeat a date if you enjoyed it the first time.
So I’ve finally set aside time to date my partner. We have been married for 29 years. We kept making excuses for not being consistent in our dating. We would get a couple of dates in and then forget. Now we have both committed to the time and the research to go on regular dates. My wonderful partner is really into grand gestures which takes lots of creativity and work. Very easy to burn out when so much is put into the process.
My advice is to keep the dates simple. A walk can be turned into a date just by holding hands. talking or reminiscing about your relationship. A coffee date can be enhanced by looking into each other eyes and smiling.
This weekend our date was a visit to the local swimming pool. They have a spa pool. We also paid to use the sauna and steam room. A lazy lunch afterwards is a perfect way to finish a lovely time together.
7 days into Covid19 lockdown in New Zealand. We can only leave the house to walk in the local area or go to the supermarket. They have called the people we co-habit with our “bubble’.
Our bubble is small just my hubby, myself and a boarder who works in an essential service. We are floating around in this surreal bubble. Working from home I keep finding distractions. Husband trying to work but things are pretty quiet for him.
So, such close quarters with your lover; dream or not? I think it takes a little more thoughtfulness. Possibly learning to give space but also making purposeful changes to create a greater closeness or intimacy. We’ve had some quite deep, searching conversations around plans and dreams that we are too busy to normally think about.
We have subscribed to an Indestructable Partnership course which is free during this Covid19 scare. It is truly challenging and if we stay committed to it we hope to come out the other side with some really good relational tools.
So romance sometimes looks bit like work. We choose this time to commit more time and prioritising our relationship.
We go for walks everyday and talk about stuff. We sometimes remember to hold hands.
So keep smiling and say kind things to each other. I’ll try and give you some at home stuff to do to be romantic together in the next few days. Maybe start by making a cake or hot cross buns together and then you get to enjoy eating them together as well.
PS. Lots of tips and hints on other posts about easy romance ideas.
The Nike swoosh and logo have a special cohesion as I was sharing with a friend recently. The brand voice of ‘just do it” means give it a go. Now this is a romance blog. That’s what I want you to try. Search around this blog for inspiration and promise yourself you will do some little special gesture of love this week. Try for every week from here on out. It may be as simple as a love note with the coffee you make them. A specially focused text message about what is special about them and why you love them.
Yes and the dreaded D word. Organise a date. Take turns with this one then at least one date in out of two you’ll have fun. In reality you’ll have fun who ever organises the date. Reduce the pressure of dating by making them simple affordable and repeatable if you both loved the date. Don’t compete or compare unless that improves the experience for both of you. My husband and I enjoy the outdoors so we sometimes just go for a walk before dinner and hold hands while catching up on the days events. Feels more like a date than catching up during meal preparation.
So here’s where the swoosh comes in. You see I see it as a stylised tick a positive mark. Yes you are doing a great thing. On the road of love we come under many pressures and sometimes forget to affirm and appreciate the effort of our partner makes so try some effusive and over the top positive praise for their romantic efforts keep it genuine of course. You’ll be amazed how quickly your own positivity soars when you give some away.
Bless you today as you share your love.
A cupid’s arrow might miss it’s mark but it will always point to the one who holds your heart ❤️Who — The Wandering Poet
Been so long since I posted to this page. Does it mean I’ve forgotten about the romance. Sometimes just a little and then realise its such an important part of keeping a marriage relationship healthy. We add it back and it is such fun❣️
This was a very special date. After living in Brisbane for 21 years we are back in NZ. The land of the Long White Cloud AKA Aotearoa. I booked a weekend away at a wonderful boutique hotel. Just happened to be the place we spent our first night together 28 years ago. Honeymoon night 1. The place is still stylish and incredibly romantic. A very special date. One I will remember for a very long time.
One little thought about this special memory/date. Don’t always wait for some else to add the romance back into your relationship. Do it yourself, and make sure they have an incredible time. I’m sure they will get the hint especially if you say ‘your turn next to organise something special to celebrate us.’
Remember to make your mate your best friend. Treasure them and love them through all seasons. Keep believing they are awesome , you are awesome and especially remember that you make an awesome team. Great ingredients for a great romance.