Relationships are a little like glaciers; under various pressures, they’re always moving and changing, gathering all sorts of debris. But after some time, they move so slowly, it’s easy to forget they’re there, particularly when you live together. To use a more familiar metaphor, one day your relationship is a wild ride, all loops and corkscrews, and then, out of nowhere, it’s mellowed and straightened out. Actually, it’s worse than that. It’s stagnating.
Hey, it happens. No sweat. Relationships require management, like anything else in your life that’s as big and complex. One way is to inject a little romance. Now, depending on your definition, you may have to redefine romance a little. It shouldn’t always have a direct purpose; in other words, imagine romance as neither a means nor an end. Try to imagine it as something you do for her simply because you love her, and not necessarily to get sex later. Sounds corny, but it’s true nonetheless.
With all that in mind, the home you share with your lady presents a bunch of romantic opportunities to reignite that stagnating relationship. The following suggestions, centered around the element of surprise, should get you started. In devising your own, plan what you do around your girl’s unique tastes. You know her best, so you would know, for example, that she loves chocolate but is currently dieting, or that she hates roses. Use your inside information.
Hand her a hot towel
While she’s in the shower or taking a bath, throw her towel in the dryer for a few minutes. When she gets out, present her with the toasty towel. It’s sweet and thoughtful; she’ll love you for it.
Give her a massage
She comes home from a horrendous day at work; she’s exhausted and even a little bad-tempered. So what do you do? Offer to give her a massage. Using aromatherapy oils, focus on her neck and back, the areas that tend to tense up under stress and cause aches and pains. You can create a mood by dimming the lights and lighting candles; it creates a more relaxing and romantic environment.
Bring her breakfast in bed
A classic gesture, breakfast in bed is the proverbial “oldie but goodie.” Get up early on a Saturday or Sunday morning and prepare breakfast just the way she likes it, with toast, fresh fruit, cinnamon buns, whatever. Then surprise her by serving it to her in bed. Another great way for her to start the day.
Check out these other little gestures that will make her gush to her friends about how sweet and thoughtful you are.
Write her romantic notes
The love letter or love note is an amazing thing; little effort is required to write her one, and yet you can express so much. So write her a few creative, unique love notes and leave them in unexpected places around the house. For example, in the morning, tape one to the bathroom mirror or to the coffee machine.
Order in for dinner and have it waiting for her when she gets home. Create a romantic setting by recreating a restaurant feel on the dining room table (or in front of a fire, on the patio or wherever else you think might work), complete with plates, silverware and cloth napkins. For an extra romantic touch, add candles and a small vase with some flowers. Learn how to set a formal table and surprise her with your impeccable taste. Remember: the little details matter most.
Start a fire
In the winter, get a fire going in the fireplace (if you have one, obviously). Then, set up some pillows and blankets, and uncork a bottle of wine. If you want to take things to the next level, have a romantic dinner sitting in front of that otherwise uneventful fireplace.
Pack her lunch for work
Surprise her by making a lunch for her to take to work. It’s an opportunity to be both thoughtful and romantic, since you can also slip in a love note or a flower. Furthermore, you can buy an individual slice of cake or pie from the grocery store, or some other dessert you know she likes.
Show her feet a little tlc
Bad day or not, if she’s been running around, her feet are probably sore. Prepare a foot bath for her and follow it up with a short foot massage. Then, if it feels right, paint her toenails. It might be best to make that last part spontaneous. If, for example, she’s planning to do it herself, you can offer your services. You’ll be surprised at how romantic — even erotic — it can be.
Make her feel sexy with some lingerie
Lingerie is win-win. Your girl feels sexy and attractive wearing it, and the benefits for you go without saying. So buy her some nice lingerie and lay it out on the bed for her to find. Don’t buy the sluttiest one you can find, because the point is to make her feel good about herself. Think about what she likes, what she’ll feel good in, then combine that with your own tastes.
Draw her a bath
The bathtub is one of the most romantic household locales. Ensure that it is clean, then draw her a hot bath and add bath beads or bubble bath. If all goes well, she’ll invite you to join her.
up the romance
All these romantic gestures will make your woman happy. If you get rewarded in the process, so much the better, but making those rewards your sole motivation can only lead to disappointment. Just try to do it for her, and see what happens; it will probably come back to you.
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