Learn about love & romance

Posts tagged ‘Husband’

Why Romance? Avoid divorce.


IMG_1412I start my blog these days by saying it has been a while. I have been very busy working and then working some more. I realise that in the busyness of life I have let the romance element slip. After a little while of no special attention to my mate or from him. I find by love meter running pretty low. The irritating habits that we all have are amplified and I hear more negative comments slipping into our conversations.

If I ignore the warning signs that our relationship is going sour, it could walk out the door. Sadness, hurt and regret then replaces what was once a beautiful thing. I have seen several friends marriages end in the divorce courts recently. They are friends who live far away from me geographically. These divorces really floored me as they appeared strong and had at least 20 years in the tank.

When my life was less cluttered with work commitments. I would spend time with friends who were struggling or stressing about their relationships. I found in supporting them that most often it was the little things that count. I counselled from experience because my first marriage (8 years) did not survive and I learnt a lot by that failure. Current marriage is in its 22nd year.

If you have just stumbled upon this blog. Dig around in the archives and you will find many tips to ignite romance and keep the love alive. We all have a different vision of what romance is. Here are the starting points for romance.

  • take time to find out what your mate loves and share that passion with them.
  • complement them often.
  • organise together time with no interruptions.
  • find out what is important to them and validate & respect that. eg. I dislike clutter and mess. My mate doesn’t really notice it. He tries to be tidier and I am happier when he makes the effort.
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Last Night


I look forward to Fridays. yesterday was a very good one.

I had the day off work which is always great.

Decided to go shopping. Time to update my summer wardrobe. Unfortunately I have put on weight and last years clothes don’t fit.

Came home with some bargains, very happy.

Hubby suggested after we had dropped our son off at Youth we should grab some Fish and Chips and go down to the river. I suggested we go to an award winning fish shop. I bought a yummy lime and coconut grilled fish and he got Mediteranian spices.

We have a beautiful city with a river that snakes its way through the CBD. So we found a lovely spot across from the city lights. We mused on the reflections of the river and talked about beauty and music and joked around. We sat close and kissed and just enjoyed being together. We had two rules say only positive stuff and no business talk. Was close to a perfect way to end the week. Simple and romantic

 

 

 

about time


The Woman & The Lawyer

A lawyer got married to a woman who had previously been married 12 times. On their wedding night, they settled into the bridal suite at their hotel. The bride said to her new groom, “Please, promise to be gentle. I am still a virgin.”

This puzzled the groom, since after 12 marriages, he thought that at least one of her husbands would have been able to perform. He asked his new bride to explain the phenomenon.

She responded, “My first husband was a Sales Representative who spent the entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, how great it was going to be.”

“My second husband was from Software Services: he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he promised he would send me documentation.”

“My third husband was from Field Services and repeatedly said that everything was diagnostically OK, but couldn’t get the system up.”

“My fourth husband was from Educational Services, and you know the old saying – ‘Those who CAN, DO; those who can’t, teach’.”

“My fifth husband was from the Telemarketing Department. He knew he had the order, but he wasn’t quite sure when he was going to be able to deliver.”

“My sixth husband was an Engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.”

“My seventh husband was from Finance and Administration. He knew how, but he just wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.”

“My eighth husband was from Standards and Regulations, and he told me that he met the minimum standards but regulations weren’t clear on how to do it.”

“My ninth husband was a Marketing Manager. Even though he had the product, he just wasn’t sure how to position it.”

“My tenth husband was a psychiatrist. All he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”

“My eleventh husband was a gynecologist, and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”

“My twelfth husband was a stamp collector, and all he ever wanted to do was . . . God I miss him! So now I’ve married you, and I’m really excited.”

“Why is that,” asked the lawyer. “Well, it should be obvious. You’re a lawyer. I just know I’m going to get screwed this time!”

Remember to Say


Remember to Say

It is so important to vocalize your appreciation to your mate. Take time to share a version of these encouragements to your partner. Personalise them and watch their eyes light up. More tips are here

“You are the best, I do notice all the effort you put into this family. I’m glad you’re here,”

It was just that simple. From time to time, I make sure to stop what I’m doing, ask my husband to stop what he’s doing and focus on my words.

“I love you.”

“I need you.”  

“Thank you.”

 Usually, after one of these moments of appreciation, I can almost see his stress levels drop and he’s able to walk a little lighter.

We all want that validation that our spouse *sees* us, that they understand that what we do every day is not easy, but they appreciate us making that effort. Don’t get so caught up in the day-to-day business that you miss out on little opportunities to connect.

Go home today and make it a point to give your spouse a hug if you normally don’t. Kiss your wife/husband on the cheek and tell them that dinner was wonderful; thank her/him for making it. Throw on a slow song and dance in the living room together. Give them a massage before you head to sleep. Make sure they know that no matter how much is going on, you remain committed to them through it all.

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